A weekend of weddings and weeping.

Friday was the Royal Wedding and I can't say that I was that elated to have the day of school. There are 7 weeks until my A-level exams and to tell you the truth, I am no way near prepared. However I wasn't a total scrooge and spent the day watching my friend play cricket then went on to a street party. There were a few bands that played, a free BBQ and face painting, what more could you ask for really?

Saturday was spent travelling to my Boyfriends (new addition, feels odd typing it) friends wedding where we were treated to even more free food and by Jove did we take advantage of it, we even stayed until after the reception to not only help tidy up the hall but to more importantly tidy up the buffet! Eating aside, the weather was glorious and the bride looked beautiful , I may have nearly blinded her with my awful confetti throwing technique but the day went without a HITCH nonetheless.

Sunday was very much a day of recuperation, doing absolutely nothing until 6pm when I was rushed out of the house to go and watch my sister in her most recent show 'Take A Bow'. I always enjoy going to my twin sisters performances because in the interval I always get mistaken for her (what? I'm not going to turn down praise) haa. The funniest thing is , even the director who has been working with her for the past year came up to me after the show and congratulated me, poor bloke, his face when I told him he'd got the wrong one.

If my sister does become a success I may as well lead my life as a professional lookalike.

Bloomin' beautiful day with Baycat.

My sister and I are pretty keen photographers and when our mates band Baycat needed some pre-gig photos doing we were more than happy to lend a hand, or four. The flowers were in bloom and the sun was beating down, what more could you ask for?

Motivasun!

The Easter holidays have rolled around so fast! It only felt like yesterday I was celebrating my 18th Birthday but that was 7 weeks ago! With these holidays comes alot of responsibility though, it's now or never with the revision. I have 10 weeks tomorrow until my first Biology A2 exam, to say I'm worried would be the understatement of the year. I've worked out if I revise for 3 hours a day ( 1 hour for each subject; Biology, English literature and English Language) then I will just about cover all of my syllabuses before the exams really kick in.

I normally rise at about 12pm/1pm in the holidays but today a beautiful beam of light coaxed me out of my cocoon. There is just something about the sun which makes me want to get up and start being productive, I'm a bit like a bee I guess, the most productive when the flowers have bloomed and the sun is beating down. You'd think with this glorious weather the last thing I want to do is revise, that's not the case at all, I strangely enjoy revising, whilst laying on my trampoline in the sun. I even managed to walk to the local town centre and go to the library, granted I sat down and read for all of 5 minutes but I got a few books out which should see me through this stressful yet sunny season!

After the library I went to local Arboretum and thoroughly soaked up the sun. I suppose the bad thing about living in Britain, and Walsall especially, is that when we have a good few hours of sun everyone suddenly thinks they are on holiday, the lads walk around topless and the girls walk around practically naked, considering Walsall has one of the highest obesity rates in the West Midlands this proves to be a tad mentally scarring. One perk  of the local Aboretum is that they open up a kids 'swimming pool' which is basically a dip within the parks surface, which they fill with water, an absolute highlight is watching the lifeguards fish around for feaces and other little presents the tiddlywinks have left for him. I sound like a sadistic , cynical shit, when infact I truly love the summer & the arboretum.

Organisation.

One thing that has always , always baffled me (I was a very inquisitive child) is the fact that some people do not want to donate their organs. I'm very open minded and truly do respect religious views about the body after death etc. If there is a god though, surely he would want you to help others? even after you've passed. I really think the government should look into enforcing laws by which everyone ,from birth, will be added to the organ donor register but have the option to opt-out of it by then removing themselves from the list. I honestly think, as much as it pains me to say/type the main reason for people not registering is because they haven't found the time or 'can't be bothered with the fuss'. It takes 3 minutes,literally, I just re-registered to check my details were still on the system from when I first signed up when I was 9 years old.

It angers me that thousands of people are dying every year whilst organs rot away in the ground or are burnt to dust in cremation. Am I seeing something that other people (politicians) aren't? How can they be so oblivious to this obvious solution. As cynical as it sounds it's probably due to the paper work, if as many people would opt-out that currently haven't opted in then there would be a mountain of files to be dealt with. I'm fortunate enough to not have anyone in my close family and friends require an organ, but you never know when it will happen, it may even be you who needs a new kidney, or heart.

I don't like to preach, in fact there is nothing worse , after watching Louis Theroux's documentary on BBC 2 last night I have now witnessed the sad and quite frankly terrifying way in which people are manipulated and would hate to come across anything like that. honestly ask yourself these questions now, why do I not have a donor card? or why do I not give blood?

comical conundrums.

There is nothing like sitting down to watch a great comedy ( I advise you watch 'I love you Man') with your friends or family, but is comedy more powerful than politics?

I went onto channel 4's on demand website (4od) and whilst flicking past the most recent and popular programmes from ;Unreported world to Superscrimpers (waste not want not) then typing 'Friday Night Dinner' into the search bar I realised that I not only potentially clicked away from some programmes that would open my mind, widen my knowledge but I also skipped past the opportunity to learn how to seriously save some cash which directly affects my life. It was in this moment that I realised, we all may have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge but all we truly want is something that takes us away from the harsh reality of life, something that distracts us from the disaster and cures us of this discomfort. So I'm currently waiting for Friday Night Dinner to load, in the hope that even for a few moments I'll laugh aloud and be transported to a higher level of happiness.

I sound so depressing! It really gave me an insight into human nature though, we are social animals who want to entertain and in return be entertained! As a budding scriptwriter this has turned everything I have ever written on its head as I write pretty deep, thought provoking stuff (as you may well have realised- sorry I'm not depressed I swear!) and now I've realised, whatever I write, however deep and complex it may be we truly do enjoy the simple pleasures in life, simple and sweet comedy moments are what we truly remember and go on to talk about with friends. Debates are great but laughter is what binds us and brings us together.

I need to start working on my comedy writing.

Happy Bythday Emma Case.

   This evening has been one of the most magical and momentous evenings of my life. I honestly don't think I have ever felt this elated for a couple. Today was Emma Cases' 30th birthday , and this evening was her party. I met her through a drama group a few years ago and we've remained in touch, she is a fully fledged wedding photographer now and business seems to be booming. She is the complete epitome of the old saying ' good things come to good people' anyway she'd organised the whole thing months and months ago. The theme was 50's and everyone got fully kitted out in 50's gear, the whole shebang from the iconic hair styles right down to the types of heel.

  The venue was just seamlessly suitable with the 'Enchantment Under the Sea Dance' theme, there were beautiful little lollipops and cakes and for us greedy gits there was a full on pork bap spread. An hour into the already wonderful evening Pete Smyth (Emmas fiance) gathered everyone around the stage, we knew there was a surprise but nothing in the world could prepare us for the sheer shock as the crowd was parted and slowly formed into an aisle. Before we knew it we were peering over one anothers shoulders to catch a glimpse of bride maids walking down the aisle followed by Emma in her beautiful vintage wedding dress.

THEY WERE GETTING MARRIED.THE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER FINALLY GOT TO BE THE BRIDE.

 I don't normally get emotional over weddings or general romance, but something inside me clicked as I watched her walking up to us, I just couldn't hold back, I was bawling like a total baby.

Myself and the bride.

  They both then revealed to us that they had gotten married earlier, low key, at a registry office. I was stunned, for years now everyone has been awaiting the invitations for their wedding and I never in a million years would have guessed that they would do it on Emmas birthday. They then said their vows to one another (yet more tears) and had their first dance (yes even more tears, I'm surprised my make up managed to withstand the waterfall). With the producer of Deal or No Deal on the decks the music was ideal, with a mix of 50's classics and pure rock 'n' roll (which is perfect for Pete).

Their first dance was to this song;


Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros "Home" from on Vimeo.

    I still find it very hard to put into words how truly amazing this night has left me feeling. I will never ever forget this evening and the events that unfolded before my unbelieving eyes.I may have come away with a few cavities (I ate far too many lollipops) but above all I have come away with so much admiration (didn't think I could have much more) for the utterly perfect couple that is Mr & Mrs Smyth.

The seamlessly suited, sneakiest and sweetest couple in history.

avon! av it!

I finally got myself a job, after four days of looking. Surprised myself there. Yes I'm going to be that annoying woman who drops off that annoying, expensive make-up catalogue then expects you to keep it in pristine condition (or just keep it) for them to collect the following week.

This year has been a corker , things are finally falling into place, so what if being an Avon lady isn't a 'proper' job, It's still a job, and for me that is a bloody achievement! I'm driving, I'm 18 & I shall soon be earning my own cash. 2011, you beauty.

bearing the weight of adulthood, or not.

On our( I find it very odd saying 'my' birthday, as I've always shared it) my sister and I both got a lump sum of money from our parents, my sister is putting it towards her summer drama course and I'm hoping to splash it on my travels in July! (far too excited about going away for a month, I must try and focus and get these blasted exams done, and done well).

Anyway on our birthday I bravely went into the bank and got my own bank account set up (wheey adult points) I also went to the phone shop and sorted out my own phone, with my own contract, with my own money (kerching,adult point overload ). On the evening of our birthday my sister and I had a Chinese meal with the family where we were given a bottle of champagne each (hoorrah even more adult points) however once I had shaken the bottle, to the dismay of my father " you're going to smash the conservatory roof" is still ringing in my ears, I tried forcing the top of, the anticipation was insane but was soon diffused as I realised the bottle was in fact a screw top! ( major loss of adult points).

After the meal we necked the champagne, setting ourselves up nicely for the events that followed. We went to Snobs in Birmingham, I'd love to say I remembered the whole night but that would be a lie. I vividly remember dancing like a total lunatic with 3 other looney mates in the 80's room, whilst receiving a lovely batch of peculiar looks from the surrounding dancers. I thrived off it! Snobs is now one of my favourite places to go. We went to Propaganda (at the o2 academy) on the Friday after as well, that was as equally as good, with the following morning being equally as bad.

It's really odd now, being an 'adult' you almost feel as if you have to be responsible and mature. When I was younger all I ever want to be was an adult, now I'm that, there is nothing more I want than to be a child again. typical ay.

Metro Madness.

I love reading the Metro (for those who don't know what this is, it's the daily paper we have on all public buses in the UK) because I refuse to watch the news on the television, partially because I'd find something more entertaining to watch (I'm obsessed with TV drama) and partially due to the fact I can't bring myself to face the harsh reality of live and the constant bombardment of negativity. The Metro is my only window in which I gaze into and find out about the goings on of the whole wide world. Anyway something I read today in the Metro really ruffled my feathers, the full article can be found here, in brief though it describes this 'new revelation' that birds can feel empathy towards their offspring. It's great that they have finally realised this and are raising awareness of the fact birds animals and most organisms express these 'human' traits and emotions however how could you assume that they never did beforehand? I'm a firm believer that all animals, mammals and reptiles, from pig to possum have and frequently display these 'human' qualities, we just are not aware of them.

A vegetarian ; I am not, a hypocrite ; I most certainly am. Although I devour probably the equivalent of an entire pig in a week in bacon, pork chops, sausages and ham I still resent the way in which we exploit these animals. I'm aware that we have a higher level of intelligence and a sophisticated communication system but who said that we have total stewardship of this planet, and can help ourselves to resources at every trophic level (producers, consumers, secondary consumers) of every food chain? Who is to say monkeys couldn't run it any better than we do? Look at what we've done to it, it's a total mess. In the most non-suicidal and pro-genocide way, I truly believe it would do this planet a world (no pun intended) of good if the human race was entirely wiped out.  Food chains would be able to reform, populations would return, those on the brink of extinction may well boom in numbers, who knows? If it ever happened no-one would ever know. Without our meddling machinery and greedy grazing on all of the worlds resources the world would thrive, dogs and domesticated animals would die yes, but the advantages outweigh everything.

World issues dealt with, my own little world has been pretty hectic recently (good hectic though) since my birthday It's been non stop, from further planning of my Europe trip to extensive revision sessions, I've barely had a moment to stop, to think and most importantly to write. I'm going to try and write at least once a week, to prevent my head from exploding more than anything else.

snappy happy.

I submitted some photos that I'd taken in the winter to american internet magazine 'Side B Magazine' and I was pleasently surprised that the photos had be chosen to appear in the spring issue.

check it ooot!

http://www.magcloud.com/browse/Issue/167122

 photography is just something I do when I'm bored really, writing is where my heart is.

feels like I've been weighteen forever!

Tomorrow I will finally be 18! ohh yes.

To be honest, it has flown by. Waves of excitement keep washing over me when I least expect it, for instance when I was making myself a brew I got the biggest bundle of butterflies, had to sit down. haaa. Excitement does strange things to me, it makes me want to exercise and eat well. I should get excited more often, as should everybody out, wipe out obesity in no time at all ;)

Childhood only feels like yesterday, but tomorrow it'll be lost forever. Hello adulthood, drinking,clubbing,driving,University ; RESPONSIBILITY :| Naaa. I cannot wait for what is to come. This world is my oyster and I am going to drink it dry!!

MMMMillie, MMMMollie, MMMMMandy.

Sounds like a list of the top three girls and even more popular ,dogs, names at the moment( minus the excess 'M's). Believe it or not this is the name of our family delicacie(in our eyes anyway). If you're the type of person who loves mixing their mash ,butter and beans together with a grating of cheese, then you will no doubt love a Millie,Mollie,Mandy.

 

Mash your baked or boiled potato, heat it up then chuck in your butter,cheese and milk then the tiniest dollop of Marmite.  I forgot to mention you may have to be partial to a little dollop of gag inducing Marmite from time to time. Nothing warms you up better on a frost February evening. I assure you.

football* crazy, football* mad.

*IS.

After watching Tony Jordans' cleverly conceived 'Hustle' with their main story revolving around the game, it reminded me how much I despise everything that it stands for.Don't get me wrong I think that putting politics to one side and focusing on a sport is great but it's the industry and more importantly the financial side that I really hate.



The fact that players such as Cesc Fabrigas (Arsenal) earn up to £4.5 million a year for kicking around a ball whereas the average firefighter and police officer who essentially save lives and prevent crime earn between £22,104 and £26,109 a year. Not to mention in LEDC's (less economically developed countries) £4.5 million that Fabrigas earns in one year would feed, accommodate and supply a family of five for a minimum of 20 years. When it's put into perspective like that , it really makes you realise whilst these footballers are off jetting around the world , being worshipped by generations of football fans and being lusted for by thousands of women, families are starving, praying for rain,food,shelter, praying for something.


It's those football fans that control everything though, they may claim to love the sport but even admit that the players salaries are ridiculous as are the ticket prices.They can act upon it though, the consumer are always in control, they supply the demand, the big companies just don't like to let them know that. If every single football fan got together and decided to not attend the next 10 big games, the industry would be forced to lower ticket prices and in turn lower the salaries of the players. I'm not denying that football brings people together and proves to be a great topic of conversation to be had down the pub with the local lads. Sometimes though, I feel that , that is the only reason some people follow the infernal game, just so they can talk about it. Then again isn't that what all of us do from time to time? Listen, watch or participate in something just so we can talk about it after?



If we look at the grand scale of things, take a giant step back. The football industry is the biggest in the world, if every player donated a quarter or if they're really generous ,half, of their salary then I am pretty sure we would be making leaps and bounds in eradicating poverty , not only in this country, but around the world. Maybe this is the hippie inside of me finally clawing it's way up from the bottom of my gut to my fingertips, but to me it just seems logical. Does anybody really need a salary that big? Surely after they've bought their fifth Porsche and second mansion they'd have some left over that they really won't use.


I'm probably only saying all of this because I know I won't ever earn that obscene and absurd amount of moula and it angers me. I'll be a skint scriptwriter for the rest of my days whilst footballs continue to drain the similarly skint football fans funds ,which will most likely be spent on strip clubs and gold plated phones. The public really do have the ultimate power, I just wish they would realise it.

wishing winter away.

In three weeks I'm 18. This year seems to be working out well, with an offer from Bournemouth under my belt,a driving certificate and an almost adult status I didn't think it could get any better but it really will.

I'm travelling Europe in the summer with 3 friends. I am beyond excited. At first I kind of assumed we'd talk about it alot, plan it even but it would never actually happen. I don't like to let my hopes get too high, my gran always said it's better to have low expectations, that way you're never dissapointed. Last week however we solidified our sweaty summer plans, we booked our flights to Amsterdam. It finally felt like it was really going to happen, since then we've managed to pull our socks up and turn our pockets out by booking our first two hostels ,return flight and even a ticket to 'soundwave croatia 2011' a music festival supposedly like the Croatian alternative of Big Chill, with the same amount of quality acts. That's all I think about when I go to sleep, skanking on a beach or even better on a boat. We're starting in Amsterdam in early july ,making our way to Croatia by the 20th, it sounds crazy, after 20 days on the road (well the tracks) going to a music festival, I'm sure we'd be pretty drained by then, not only our energy but our funds. Cash worries aside Interrailing 2011 seems to be shaping up to be a trip of a lifetime, lets hope my life doesn't peak that early though, ay.

may still be a briefcase wanker but at least I won't have to be a bus wanker for the rest of my life!

I passed my driving test, first time round, yesterday. Chuffed is not the word. When the examiner said I had passed I was awkwardly drinking and half-choked as cliche as it sounds, I was so surprised. I'm on my mums insurance but limitations are still there though, having to find the right time to take the car out, when it's convenient for everyone. Despite passing I don't think my parents trust me in their car, which is fair enough. It's funny 'cause I don't think I'll ever drive as much as I have done recently (a few hours everyday) ever again. I'd be content with that, I want to buy a bicycle and ride that. It's cheaper and healthier for both myself and the planet! Guaranteed if someone gave me the opportunity to have my own car I'd jump at the chance.

Scriptwriting,nail biting.

I'm contemplating getting this (picture above) as a tattoo as I'm approaching the age of consent. Yes as scary as it seems in a mere month I will be an official adult. I don't feel ready at all, the cravings are there to go out and buy alchohol and go to 18 films ,but I've realised I'll spend the rest of my life being a legal adult though, it'll probably only be fun for a few weeks.I'll have to change the name of my blog aswell, not quite sure what to.

I cannot wait for the summer  (I'm going travelling around Europe with some friends but I think that deserves a separate post) and I cannot wait for university! Anyway enough of wishing my life away.

To tattoo or not to tattoo, that is the question.

I'm someone who gets bored very easily and despite how much I like the idea and look of tattoos I'll most likely end up hating mine within a month or so. Another thing is the price. I want a tattoo to mean something. I suppose a typewriter means something to me, I want to be a scriptwriter. What if that goes tits up? or even worse I loose my passion to write? what then, I'll have a typewriter on my forearm for life.I suppose it's the little niggling doubts that ultimately decide for you. I think I'll give it a few years, find my feet ,friends and favourite things.

Mind Blowing.

meta from Jurriën Boogert on Vimeo.

I love Being Human.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the brief blur that was a 1000 years spent on Pluto and up Uranus with the rest of the pluranians it's just this planet feels like home.

Bloody awful attempt at a pun, apologies. If you've ever had the privilege of enduring more than 15 minutes with me, you'll know how often these terrible attempts at being funny crop up, I should just face it ; women aren't funny and never will be.

Anyway , crap jokes aside. BBC3 is back with one of my favourite series 'Being Human'.It's a show that I've actually watched from the word go , I must admit I'm usually a late comer to shows as I normally watch things other people advise me to, basically, I'm a big fat Baaing sheep. I'm not quiet sure whether it's Mitchells (Aidan Turner ) smoulderingly scary sexiness that hooks me and keeps reeling me in or if it's Georges (Russell Tovey) amazingly awkward character who often finds himself in hilarious situations.For example in last nights episode (SPOILER ALERT) he accidentally became a member of a dogging group in the near by forest . It's been described at Casper meets Buffy meets wolfman meets friends but I don't think that gives it half the credit it deserves.Yes the plot revolves around a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost but it's strangely realistic and human (probably the reason for the name as they are anything but 'being human'). My sister and I (both having strong interests in drama and scriptwriting) usually sit through television programmes just picking at the flaws in the acting and the writing but I can honestly say, every actor/actress is the epitamy of their character, no hiccups whatsoever , as of yet. The script is seamlessly written, making for an entertaining yet chilling show. If I'm already enjoying the third series this much, one episode in, I cannot wait for the rest.

It's not too late to catch up, well it never really will be with this infinite supply of 'catch up tv'- THERE IS NO EXCUSE! It's definitely worth a watch.

cause all we need is candle light.

I used to hate baths. When I was younger, they were just annoying things that we had to clamber into three times a week. Once I discovered dirt and the idea of hygiene the sheer thought of wading around in my own filth for an hour or two was enough to put off for almost 10 years.With exams and the vile thing known as 'responsibility' creeping in and contaminating my once care-free life it was time to turn to the tub. Baths are back though, and they are better than ever.

I discovered a way to combat my cringey complex, have a shower first. My baths are no ordinary baths (sounds so much like an M&S advert).I even found a way of making the dullest of baths look decent. Cover them in candles. I love candles.I frequently lace my room with vanilla scented tea lights and if I'm feeling really exotic I sometimes whack some apple scented ones to mix it up a bit.I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm a pyromaniac but it wouldn't surprise me if my death was related to fire in some way.

Summer is shower time, arguably because the last thing you want in the sweltering heat (if only that was a familiar case in this country) is a steamy bath. Winter however, is the prime time for beautiful bathing. I've even gone to the lengths of creating my own 'Bathtime Beauts.' playlist on Spotify, I'd love to be able to say that the reason I love baths and being in my bathroom in general is because I'm completely cut off from technology and its tight hold it has on the world, but I'd be lying. I always sneak my laptop into the bathroom (yes I'm aware of the risks that poses and the fact condensation can seriously cock up your computer) but there is no better way to really enjoy your music, it really is magical.

Another thing that is magical in the winter particularly is the steam. Lifting your lazy limbs out of the water to watch them catch the cold air and stream with steam is just mesmerising, to prevent this turning into one of those dodgy 'adult content' blogs and having to change all my settings I'll leave the steam talk there. All that is left to be said is, happy bathing.

Solitude is Bliss.

Not only is it a great name of a great song by the impeccable Tame Impala ,it is also the truth. Today more than ever I have craved time alone, my own space, my own home. I felt really rough this morning , probably due to sleep deprivation. Since I've stopped sucking my thumb ( about 2 weeks ago) I've been finding it really hard to A; get to sleep and B; stay asleep. I've never been a light sleeper but I guess without my thumb, and my main comfort I'm destined for a life of light slumber.

Anyway this morning I woke at the terrible time of 12pm , having taken the day off school , resulting in me probably missing about two lessons, I felt as if I had to do something productive and be a bit proactive just to avoid feeling like the worlds biggest failure. So I got up, tidied my room, did my coursework, set the dishwasher, set the clothes dryer etc.Even doing this post now is preventing me from feeling like the demotivated lounge lizard I've become. I like the feeling of being able to do things for myself.

I wouldn't say my dad is controlling but he likes things to be done correctly and in his eyes that means that he must do everything. It was weird though, when he came back from tennis, the oven was on (cooking some delectable sausages) and the dryer was spinning pretty loudly , I felt a sense of fear, I was honestly worried that he would find out I had put the dryer and the oven on. Which is completely ridiculous as I'm nearly an adult, but my dad has his way of doing things and I must be scared of disrupting his routine. Being the curious cat that he is, he noticed immediately "who's cooking" and "who's washing" have almost become his catchphrases. I hope one day we'll be able to do things for him, without him rigorously assessing everything we do, he may even let us cook the Christmas dinner one year, if he's feeling really wild, I doubt it though.

I just can't wait to be self sufficient, without having to look over my shoulder every 5 minutes to see whether my dad approves of what I'm doing. I'm saying this now but I guarantee once I go to University, or get my own place I'll be moaning within a week that the workload is too much. I have so many desires to just break free from the mundaity of everyday life. I have visions of myself doing completely uncouth things such as peeling all the labels of the tins in my cupboards just so I don't know what I'm getting every time, I'm sure I'll grow annoyed of going to make beans on toast and ending up with prunes on toast! Seriously though, I feel as if I need a shocking scenery change, some kind of change. I'd love to be able to relocate every month of my life, see what everywhere has to offer, be it a different town or a different country. I think we've all been sucked into societies view of practicality over pleasure I hear the words " it's not practical" far too often. This is just the hippie in me taking over, soon sense will seep in and my dreams will be dulled down by this depressing pace of life we're all to comfortable with.

If all goes to plan I'll be driving by the time I'm 18 (in a few weeks )and University is around the corner, hopefully they will both open a few more doors in which I can wander in and explore.

do talk to strangers.

F**k Ofsted!

What is the point in these 'suprise' inspections when everyone is well informed the day before and teachers hastily make lesson plans the night before them. I think it'd be a much better system if an Ofsted inspector worked undercover as a trainee teacher, yes that involves hours of prep and reams of lies but that's the only way they'd get a true feel for the real school life. Anyway the reason I'm spouting anger like there is no tomorrow is that I had a meeting with an Ofsted inspector today and bore witness to the most astounding arse licking I have ever seen. Fair enough, make the school look good in order for it to stay open and the teachers to have jobs and the general moral to be lifted but don't lie through your teeth. There wasn't even a teacher there to commend these pompous pupils for their efforts, a good half an hour in,I'd heard enough and made a negative point, which resulted in the entire table responding with " that's her personal opinion, no-one else feels this way", ridiculous. How can something ever improve if the problems are never highlighted and resolved?

Anyway, rant over, what it really made me think about was why we do these things, why do we conform? I'm not about to divulge in some  psychology based debate (as much as I'd love to) because it'd bore you to death. The worst thing about conformity and general public life is the silence. The silence in waiting rooms ,buses and the very very worst ; lifts. I visited London over the Xmas period and  it was when I was in a tube lift I realised just how much I hate silence. There we were 15 total strangers crammed into a sardine tin of a lift, not saying a single word, I bet if it had been 2am (after everyone had hit the clubs) there would be an array of converse, but nope there was nothing. I felt like screaming or doing something really unpredictable just to shake it up a bit.

I think the saying "Don't talk to strangers" has become all too literal, nobody seems to talk at all.They'll happily send hundreds of texts a day and 'tweet' on strangers status' but will barely ever   look a stranger in the eye.

 Have we completely lost our faith in the human race? We're all social animals,inquisitive and interested  and yet we allow hundreds of people to pass us by on a daily basis without even regarding them, questioning their motifs, or looking at them.  It's for this reason entirely that I'm going to make a pledge to be more friendly to people  in everyday life, I've gone on for far too long just looking at the ground or listening to my iPod, anything in order to avoid conversation and any form of contact. The funny thing is when someone is friendly, you treat them as if their an alien, for instance I went on a jog a few months ago with a friend and a man ran past us and said "good afternoon", instantaneously my friend and I looked at each other ,pulled a face then continued as if we'd just been approached by an extraterrestrial creature.It really saddens me that it's become the 'norm' to be introverted and isolated.

 I think we've all just become paranoid, who can blame us?The media bombard us with stories of rapists , paedophiles, mad gunmen on the rampage, and the very very worst people of all , women who put cats in bins. No wonder we've lost our faith in the kindness of strangers, we're terrified of strangers.

such sucking stupidity.

I'm not one to usually make New Years resolutions, I've seen far too many people make them then break them within a day. This year feels different though, I really am ready to tackle my worst habit (well at least I hope my worse!) sucking my thumb.

Okay so I haven't gone to such extreme lengths as that ^ but I am considering putting a plaster on my thumb, nothing tastes worse than a big fabric plaster.


Ever since my fifth birthday I can vividly remember saying to my 'Nanna' " when I'm six I will stop sucking my thumb because then I'll be a big girl" thirteen birthdays later, and look where I've come, absolutely nowhere. Actually I tell a lie, my sister and I both made a pledge to quit together about 4 years ago because the dentist was getting increasingly annoyed at our ever growing over bites, so we did it, it was surprisingly easy. I sound like a drug addict but I was 'clean' for about a year, that was until my sister and I were sat watching TV and she dared me to put my thumb in my mouth. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. Ever since that moment it's been glued to my gums again and now it feels almost impossible to stop. My sister remained clean and her teeth showed the improvements.One thumb is literally bigger than the other, all that constant sucking must've literally drained the fat of it. Now I'm the wonky smiled, big baby , freak show of a twin.

It sounds ridiculous doesn't it, being addicted to sucking a phalanges. That's what it is though, an addiction, not a nervous trait like biting your finger nails but an actual addiction that I crave. Admittedly it's not half a serious as smoking and the biological factors of nicotine addiction. After watching my brother take a drag of his cigarette after a two hour car journey I saw the relief in his face, posture, position everything and it truly reminded me of how I am after a driving lesson, going almost two hours without the comfort of my stumpy digit really gives me the jitters (or maybe it's just my near death experiences during the driving lessons) who knows.

Anyway I was 3 hours into the New Year and BAM it's snuck it's way into my oral cavity, sneaky stumpy thing. I don't even realise I'm doing it half the time, It takes someone to point it out ( usually with the typical 'awww') for me to realise and adjust ,I'm eighteen in a few months for Christ sakes, I've had enough 'awww's to last me a lifetime.

That's my main point, what better way to wave bye bye to my childhood than waving bye bye to my thumb (if that is even possible?)So lets see how long it last. I've tried and failed so many times.

Tv triumphs of two thousand and ten.

Howard Overmans' 'Misfits'.(E4)
Stupidly sci-fi yet really realistic. It just keeps getting better and better as the second series concluded, absolutley flawless.Rumours say the 'Asbo five' will be back for a third series next Autumn. If you are yet to be totally transformed by the show, catch up in time for the new series.

Kay Mellors' 'A Passionate Woman'.(BBC)
Based on a true story of the trials and tribulations of Kay Mellors mother and her affair and the significant impact it's had on her mature life ,this drama was completely mesmerising as was the lead male character Craze (played by Theo James).

Jimmy Mcgoverns' 'Accused'.  (BBC)
After adoring Jimmy's drama 'The street' for a while I thought it would be impossible to create something as nearly as enthralling but 'Accused' blew it out of the water. Each episode of the 6 part series was independent which made for a unique  fresh feel every week. Truly sublime.

Mick Fords' 'Single Father'. (ITV)
Being a huge fan of David Tennant but not such a great fan of his latest  feats (Doctor Who) I was really exciting about seeing him in a serious role. He did not disappoint. For the first time I bawled over the first episode of the 4 part drama. Mick Fords writing was great but the real beauty came from the improvised dialogue of the children featured, really magical moments.

Rob Brydon and Steve Coogans' 'The Trip' (BBC)
I hadn't really been interested in Steve Coogan or Rob Brydon up until this point, I suppose I never really gave them a chance to impress me. Being a natural human and a natural sheep it took a couple of friends to mention the series and within hours I found myself on iplayer wanting to get in on all the goss. It made me cry, really, seriously cry with laughter. I guarantee everyone would find their improvised banter entertaining.

Nigel Slaters 'Toast' (BBC1)
This one pulled it out of the bag one day before the New Year. Really captivating stuff, makes me wish I was born in the 60s just so I could wear those knitted jumpers all the time and appear normal. It was heart wrenchingly sad yet whole heartedly humorous.If you missed it, I highly recommend you watching it on iplayer or catching it on ; Tue 4 Jan 2011 ,22:30, BBC HD.