'orrible yet optimistic .

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I don't mind if you despise this blog,yes it's great if you enjoy it, but rather selfishly, it's for me.It's oddly comforting knowing that my little opinion is floating around in cybersapce and will always be here.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

A Universe-away.from.the-city

Tomorrow I am leaving Birmingham and going to Bournemouth. I have just completely gutted my old room so that my brother can quickly re-inhabit it. I'm sure most people are leaving the majority of their possessions at home but it seems like I am taking everything and hardly leaving anything here. My dog has been moping about the entire day, she knows I'm going because the same thing happened with my sister last week, one minute boxes appeared in the hallway and the next minute she was gone (for what my dog must assume) for good. It's so hard as I can't actually tell her that we'll be back.

I currently feel like raiding the fridge and cupboards for healthy food to gorge on before my three year binge of rubbish food and too much alcohol commences. I just feel so unprepared. I can't wait to meet new people in one sense but in another I finally feel completely content with my friends and life at home. Change is good though. We'll all be back for Xmas before we know it and laugh at ourselves for making such a fuss about leaving. Just at the moment it has all become so real.

I have my possessions sporadically spread around the house due to all these room changes. When I return for holidays and weekends I'll have to share a room with my sister but I think we'd want to anyway. She has been away for a week now and it already feels like I've lost touch of what is happening in her life. It's all part of growing up I guess, not living in each others pockets all the time. Tonight I'm going to the Electric cinema in Birmingham to say goodbye to one of my favourite places for a while (I probably won't be able to afford to go to the cinema much when I come back), I'll tuck myself up in my old bed , in my old room, with my dog and try and get some sleep.

I am so nervous.

Friday, 9 September 2011


This summer has been one of the best summers I have ever lived through, from Interrail (which I will eventually finish writing about) to many bike rides, to End of the Road festival( which I wanna write about) and some very memorable evenings out! The home town fun is nearly over (for a while) as close friends are slowly making their way to their new university's, and their new lives. It's all very exciting, naturally, but it does feel as if it's an end of an era.

Who will remain in close contact and who will drop off the face of the planet? all that is left to do is wait and see I suppose. I told myself last year when I saw older years writing status' about missing home 'what is the point in missing something, that will only make you have a crap time away and won't get you home any faster' but now as I'm allowing that thought to slip away I fear I may miss home and my sister more than anything.

We went to separate colleges but still came home every evening to each other. Since I returned from travelling we've slept in the same bed almost every night, despite having our own double beds, I think we're clinging on. Despite the initial strangeness of being apart I think university will do so much more for us than any usual siblings, because we've never truly been seen as individuals, even with our close friends it's 'I'm just with the twins' or 'I'm just at the twins house'. For years I have admittedly been robbing my sisters clothes, make up and jewelery so having to go out and buy essentials for myself I'm already starting to feel less dependent, don't really know how well I'll cope with an extremely reduced wardrobe though!!

Although it's all very scary at the moment, not knowing who we will meet or what will happen. I can honestly say I have never been so ready to leave home I think travelling triggered it. From being totally independent for a month, with money, food, safety, everything, returning home to my parents asking questions revolving around where I'd been or how much money I had spent (although it was my own 'hard earnt'(I worked on a play scheme, the best job you could possibly ask for) money). I'm just craving that independence again.

So my sister leaves tomorrow and I go the following week. Only time will tell.