'orrible yet optimistic .

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I don't mind if you despise this blog,yes it's great if you enjoy it, but rather selfishly, it's for me.It's oddly comforting knowing that my little opinion is floating around in cybersapce and will always be here.

Tuesday, 20 December 2011


After 4 months of living on my own (well with 17 other flatmates, but independently nonetheless) coming back home was one of the most bizarre things I have ever experienced. From having my own room and life to being chucked back into a shared room with my twin sister and having to share EVERYTHING, it all feels very odd indeed.Adapting to the sudden influx of fruit and veg and being fed proper food wasn't hard at all, feeling the strains of parental control however has taken some more getting used to. From minuscule responsibilities  of walking the dog, to having to justify my spending habits (I really wish I didn't have my bank statement sent home!) , I've seamlessly slipped back into driving and my thumb has slowly slipped back into my mouth!


The initial yearnings of a long bath, dishwasher and endless access to wireless Internet soon wore off, especially my dreams of not having to wash up for 12 days , due to the fact our dishwasher is broken and won't be repaired until after Xmas! disaster. Once all the easy food in the fridge and easy viewing on the TV that my parents had recorded  had been consumed ,despite having the starting of a pot-belly, A strange feeling of emptiness washed over me in the bath (pun intended). There's not enough to do here but almost too much to occupy me, I find myself aimlessly logging in to facebook for hours, just to play catch up with my flatmates who are dotted about the country, enjoying their other lives. I'm finding it very hard to separate my student life and my family life.

Although I've managed to catch up with a lot of my nearest and dearest including all my neices and nephews, eaten extremly well and slept even better, there is a massive part of me which is itching to get back to Bournemouth ASAP! I have a whole new life down there, everyone knows me as me, a fully formed arcticle (which in itself is debatable) whereas here I feel as everyone knows my past , what I used to be, but not who I want to be. It all gets very complicated and confusing which represents my current state of mind perfectly. Before Uni everyone tells you of all the great times you'll have both at Home and there but no-one warns you of this feeling of dis-jointment and bewildreness.

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