'orrible yet optimistic .

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I don't mind if you despise this blog,yes it's great if you enjoy it, but rather selfishly, it's for me.It's oddly comforting knowing that my little opinion is floating around in cybersapce and will always be here.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

A few 'I don'ts' I won't stick to.

I don't want to get married.

I don't consider myself to be a feminist but I also don't consider myself to be the dependent type.I would like to find somebody that loves me an equal amount yada yada yada and all that mushy stuff, but in my eyes, marriage just puts out the fire. I would much rather have a passionate, unpredictable relationship with somebody than a marriage in which daily routines iron out any chance of spontaneity and schedules,plans, and meetings kill the romance. I'm probably a bit of a romantic, I want everything to be spontaneous , unplanned and unique. Marriage will probably become old fashioned , divorce rates are going through the roof. I never , ever want to come into contact with that wad of worry,  who does? I'd like to think of myself as adventurous, but when it comes down to it, I'm probably just scared, I don't want to get burnt.

I don't want kids.

I've never been great with children, I just can't bring myself to heighten my voice to such an extent that a baby will respond with a frothy gargle. Saying that, contradicting myself (something I often do) I still find it easy to crawl towards my dog and talk to her as if she were a child, somethings obviously a little flawed in my logic. Then again, dogs don't acquire language, they don't grow into a bogey covered, screaming children that answer back or ask 'why?' a ridiculous amount of times. I'm a firm believer that children should be treated like adults, not in the sense that they can drink and smoke but I mean in conversation. Another reason I don't want children is that slight chance that you invest your life savings, your time and most importantly your love into this child and then at the age of 16 they turn around and tell you to 'f**k off'. There is nothing to stop them doing so. Imagine, that cute curly haired toddler grows into an antisocial, addicted, attention seeker? It is just not worth the risk.

I don't want to drive.

I've always prided myself on being a little Eco-warrior and I never in a million years ever envisaged me driving. I had this warped idea that I would be using public transport for the rest of my days. That was until I  got on the 33 . ha. On a serious note though, peer pressure and practicality got the best of me and there I was on my 17th birthday , a bag of nerves behind the wheel. I've been learning to drive for almost a year and just the thought of the about of carbon emissions I've churned out alone makes me feel ill. I still stand by my fundamental thought; that I want to live somewhere where I don't need to drive, or get a bus , or a train for that matter. I want to live in a remote place that has everything ,that's self-contained . I want to ride my bicycle (refrain from bursting into song) everywhere. You could call it sad, but everyone has their own little way in which they want their life to be.
I don't want to live in England.
Whenever I try to imagine my future, where I'll be, England just doesn't seem to fit into the equation. Funnily enough I see myself in New Zealand, not that I've ever been there or even know a great deal about the place. Images of riding down long winding roads deeply embedded in the countryside, surround by vast green constantly pervade into everday life, it's my idea of heaven. The slight problem is that If I really want to be a script writer, and really want to be successful I will need to be based in London, the media hub. Part of me thinks, no I've been given so many opportunities because I live in England. Seems like I've talked myself out of my own opinion.All I know is that the city is not for me.
I don't want lots of possessions.
After reading an article a couple of weeks ago about minimalism it has really being playing on my mind. It wasn't until I moved rooms( in my house) that I realised I wasn't aware I owned half the stuff I did. This lead me to the conclusion that, If I didn't remember I had it, then why do I need it? The logical thing then was to chuck it all out, but the is a little hoarder deeply intertwined with my soul that just wouldn't allow it. Another thing is that my twin sister always borrows my things, and I couldn't care less, I spend loads of money on boots, I love boots and you'd think that when I caught her wearing my newest pair I would have gone mad, but nothing urged me, no anger, nothing. I went to a clothes swap at my Mums friends house, it was the best thing I've done in ages, If everyone did the same, we'd never need to buy clothes ever again.My iPod hasn't been charged in weeks, I don't need it. I send about 3 texts a day, that is less than my 68 year old father! I would love to travel, anywhere, just to see if I could survive with a bag of my things, so I could come back and just donate all my things to charity or friends.
So I want to ;
                    Live  in NZ, ride my bike, write my scripts and avoid screaming children at all costs.

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